I was at the library till about 5:20 am, waited for the shuttle for a little over 30 minutes in the freezing cold of the early morning. Which puts me back in my apt at 6 am. I crashed, of course, for 2-3 hours. And now tonight, a paper. I am bone tired. My mother is here visiting. I'm feeling sick. My back is starting to hurt again, I really don't want to sit at my desk all night long. I just feel so unmotivated, so uninspired and I can't think straight.

Although, I must confess, I think there is a period of cognitive lucidity that occurs after little or no sleep, before you turn into a zombie. Like, I took my Logic exam today and I was fine, I saw all the tricky intricacies of the arguments and translated them without a single hesitation. Of course, we all know what will happen. I will get the exam back and it will be riddled with stupid errors. But I really think a perfect or near perfect score is totally possible.

Where was I, oh yes. So, could I do that? Just say, screw it. I can still get a "B" in the class.

But I was talking to Russell, who made a good point. Even a "D" paper is better than an "F' and I suppose while I most definitely do not have the faculties present to write an "A" paper, I could just do a shitty job and get a "C."

But it's already 1 am. And I can't see all too clearly, partly because my glasses are crooked, but also because I'm exhausted.

I should have taken this class P/F.

I've only been doing this college thing for 2 years and already I find myself growing weary of it. It's not supposed to be like this. These are supposed to be the best years of my life.

I should just pack my bags and fly somewhere, to Europe. Just get a job, live my life.

I feel like giving up.